Spring into a New Beginning

It won’t be long now before the coming of spring – that hopeful time of year when new beginnings are all around us. It is a time of energy and growth for many of us, and it brings a welcome change of pace from the more reflective mood of the winter months.

Before you “spring into spring” though, I encourage you to take some time to be thoughtful about where you will put your energy. It’s no secret that our culture here in the U.S. promotes us to be overly busy. There is always more “to do"! Optimal self-care invites us to take strategic actions that are aligned with our vision and values. When we are clear about what we want to create in our lives, and what is most important to us, it becomes easier for us to know what actions are appropriate.

Do you have a clear vision of what you would like to create for your health and well-being? What would optimal health look like for you? Notice that I said “optimal health” – not perfect health. What you consider “optimal” will be quite personal. This isn’t about perfectionism – it’s about increasing your level of well-being, wherever you are, and making progress towards a level of health that would support you in doing and being all that you feel called to do and be. What would your best life look like?

If you’ve never stopped to ask yourself these questions, you might feel overwhelmed and unsure of where to start. Here are a few suggestions to get you going:

Fill in the blank:

Imagine yourself living a life of optimal health and well-being. If it helps, close your eyes and create a picture for yourself. Then, ask yourself the following questions:

1.  What would optimal health feel like for me?

2.  What would I be doing if I were optimally healthy?

3.  What would be different?


Once you've got your ideas down on paper, you can even turn them into a picture by making a word cloud.  Just cut and paste your words into an application like Wordle or Tagxedo.

 

Sample Word Cloud
based on my business mission and logo
Tagxedo.com

Draw a picture:

Imagine yourself with a level of well-being that would delight you. Then, get a blank piece of paper and the writing tools of your choice (crayons and colorful markers make it extra fun!). Start to draw a picture with words and/or images that capture the vision you created. There are no right answers. Just allow yourself to play and see what you notice!

For more information about the powerful effect that drawing can have, I recommend Patti Dobrowlowski's TED talk, "Drawing Your Future", available on my resources page.

Make a vision board:

Get a stack of old magazines and start leafing through them. If you notice a picture or a phrase that appeals to you, tear it out. You don’t need to know why it appeals to you. Just start tearing or cutting things out until you have accumulated a stack. Next, get a piece of blank poster-board and start laying the images or words out on them in a way that pleases you. Notice how you are feeling and which selections “resonate” with you most. Once you have everything laid out, glue it down.

Alternatives:

• Don’t want to commit? Pin your selections to a corkboard or secure them with magnets so you can move them around at will.
• Want to go digital? Consider doing a vision board on Pinterest.  (if you're new to Pinterest, you can get my tutorial here)
• Want some support? Have a vision-boarding party and let your friends in on the fun!

Creating a personal health vision is a great way to get to know yourself better and to get in touch with your hopes and dreams. In my coaching work, this is the place where every journey towards positive change begins!

There are lots of other ways to increase your self-knowledge. This month on The Nudge, our guest, Lisa Wickham will be leading us in an exploration of the topic “Inviting Wellness through Mind-Body Connection”. I hope you’ll consider joining us for this chance to hear from Lisa and interact with us.

When you think about your own well-being, what is your “dream destination”? Knowing that, where will you put your energy? I’d love to hear what inspires you!

New Year's Resolutions: Dream Big, Plan Small

As we draw closer to the end of the year, many folks start to think about their hopes and plans for the New Year.  The New Year brings an opportunity to recommit to those things that are important to you, or to start something new entirely.  For some of us, we may frame these commitments as New Year’s Resolutions.

The bad news about resolutions is that, too often, our best intentions don’t get us the results that we want. Research confirms that more than half of resolutions aren’t sustained for longer than six months, and some suggest that that percentage is even higher.  If you’ve failed to maintain a New Year’s resolution, or seen someone else fail, you might be inclined to avoid making a commitment.  After all, that way you won’t be disappointed!

The good news is that people who make resolutions are far more likely to achieve their goals than people who aren’t.   In one study, only 4% of people who didn’t make resolutions achieved their goals, as opposed to 54% of people who did make them.  That’s a huge difference!  So, if you’ve got a goal in mind, don’t be afraid to commit.

If you’ve decided to commit to a goal or resolution, research has also found that there are strategies that are more likely to help you succeed.

1.  Little by little – People who break their larger goals into smaller, more achievable ones are more likely to succeed over the long-term.
2.  Celebrate successes – People who reward themselves for the goals they achieve are more likely to continue them.
3.  Get support – Those who share their goals with friends or other support networks are more often successful in reaching their goals.
4.  Accentuate the positive – Those who focus on the benefits of success rather than the risks of failure are more likely to succeed.   For example, someone who wants to quit smoking might focus on the benefits of breathing easier, smelling better, and regaining their sense of taste and smell (instead of thinking about how failure might increase their risk of chronic disease or death).
5.  Track your progress – Those who keep some kind of journal or log of their progress are more likely to succeed. 

These findings are completely consistent with my real-world experience as a health coach, and they probably make a lot of sense to you too.  Making lasting healthy behavior change is a journey that requires inspiration, commitment, planning, and support.  The important take-home message to me is that there are particular steps that one can take to get where you want to go.  It isn’t mysterious, and success isn’t just a matter of willpower.  As I often tell my clients – the goal is learning how to work smarter, not harder.

As you consider your aspirations for the New Year, I hope that you will be inspired to Dream Big and determined to Plan Small.  Dreaming Big will give you the energy you need to get started.  Planning Small will help you overcome obstacles and give you the structure you need to stay on track. 

Dream Big:  Are you ready to inspire yourself? I invite you to join me for a month-long "Picture of Health" event that I’m hosting on Facebook.  Once you join the event, just make a virtual health vision board (using Pinterest as a tool) and then post a link to your board in the comments section of the event page.  Then, please take a look at other boards that have been posted and share your ideas and inspiration!

Plan Small:  Once you know where you want to go, make a personalized plan that works for you!  I invite you to join me for a complimentary teleseminar on December 31 to help you do that.  I’d love to share more strategies about how to “Turn your New Year’s Resolutions into Long-term Solutions”!

So, will you make a New Year’s Resolution for 2013?  As you consider the possibility, let me share a quote by Peter Drucker:  “Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes…but no plans.”

I’d love to hear what commitments that you’re making to your well being in the coming year!

The Power of a Mirror

I have always loved to dance, and over the years I’ve had my share of dance lessons. Most of them were ballet, and they occurred in locations that looked very similar. There was a large empty room with a wide expanse of floor, a barre attached to one wall, and a mirror on the other wall. The expansiveness of the room created a clear space where students could move freely. The barre was there to help us with balance.  The mirror was there to reflect the way our bodies looked as they moved or stood still.

The mirror was an important tool as we developed deeper awareness of our bodies. When we could see what we were doing, we could decide if it matched the aesthetic we were trying to create and adjust our positions accordingly. Over time, we learned how it “felt” to be a dancer. After many rehearsals with the mirror, we could recreate that feeling on stage – confident that what we were now able to perform would faithfully represent the vision of the choreographer.

I’ve been thinking about mirrors lately, and the power that they have. Sometimes when we look in the mirror, we don’t like what we see. But unless we are at a “fun house” we can trust that the mirror is showing us what is actually there. How we use the information mirrors give us is where the power comes in. It isn’t helpful to judge what we see, or to wish it were different. It is very powerful, however, to notice what is “so”, decide whether that matches what we want, and choose whether or not there is an appropriate action for us to take.

Among the other skills that professional coaches develop, we are particularly trained to act as “mirrors” for our clients. We listen deeply and then reflect what we hear. Whether we reflect our clients’ words verbatim, or paraphrase them, we are careful not to add anything extra. It is astounding how something so simple – paying attention to one’s speaking – can create breakthroughs. Clients often find moments of great clarity when a coach uses reflection – honing in on what is most important to them, or where they are getting stopped in achieving the results to which they are committed.

The “a-ha” moments that clients have during coaching are exciting and satisfying, but powerful listening and reflection also have longer-lasting rewards. As I work with clients, I have also noticed that it is common for them to begin to develop greater awareness and ability to listen to themselves. Just as I found a physical mirror helpful in honing my ability to dance on stage, my clients seem to use my reflections as a tool for increasing their mindful awareness in their day-to-day lives. 

Mirrors are one way to notice what is “so”. A physical mirror may help you notice that piece of spinach caught in your teeth, or that you appear tired and need rest.  A "coach mirror” may help you identify the vision and values that give your life meaning, and the daily choices you make that help create the life you have.

Are you using your mirrors to their best advantage?

Living Out Loud

This time of year, folks in our part of the world are mesmerized by college basketball.  To admit that one does not share this passion is something akin to heresy.  In all honesty, though, that is the case for me.   I realize that I am risking my credibility to acknowledge this fact (particularly as a UNC grad), but even though I don’t really follow the game, I do understand the appeal.

There is something else that I have been following closely, though.  There is another drama that is unfolding this month in North Carolina, and I have been enthusiastically watching and cheering from the sidelines as I hope for a big “win” for a cause that is dear to me. 

This month my friend, David Lamotte, launched a campaign through Kickstarter.com to raise funds to publish “White Flour”, a children’s book that he has written.  This isn’t just any children’s book.  “White Flour” tells the true story, in a poetic style, of an amazing event that took place in Knoxville, Tennessee nearly five years ago.  There, on a beautiful spring day, a group of clowns successfully derailed a white supremacist rally.  Through humor and nonviolence, they completely changed the dynamic and the course of what unfolded in their city that day.

The story captivated David, who, in addition to being a talented singer/songwriter is also a tireless advocate for peace and justice.  He knew that the story needed to be heard.  In a society still troubled by racism and bullying, this story provided a hopeful model of a healthy way to address conflict.  David turned the story into a poem, and now is fulfilling his vision to have it turned into a book.

When David first launched his initial campaign on Kickstarter, it only took twelve days for project supporters to blow past the initial goal.  The response was so enthusiastic that he decided to expand his vision.  At considerable personal risk, David decided to order ten thousand additional books and continue the campaign until the original end date of April 1st.  All along the way, he has shared his excitement and occasionally his concerns with us.  By “living out loud”, he has allowed others to take this journey with him.  His faith, commitment, and courage have allowed everyone supporting this project to play a much bigger game.

What is it about people like David (and maybe even basketball players) that capture our attention and imagination?  For me, it boils down to this: we are touched and inspired by people who use their talents in support of something larger than themselves.   Such people seem especially vital and “real” to us because they are being their most authentic selves.  When we see people using their gifts in a way that is consistent with their vision and values, we are inspired because we get a glimpse of something that is possible for each of us, too.   I call it flourishing.

As a coach, the possibility of a life that flourishes is something that I wish for everyone.  I believe that each of us has unique gifts, and that when we are being our most vital selves, we are able to fully offer our gifts to the world.  In other words, when our lives flourish, everyone benefits. 

Years ago, I attended one of David’s concerts and I bought a T-shirt there.  The T-shirt is so baggy and shapeless on me that one might wonder why I keep it.  What attracts me isn’t the T-shirt itself, but rather the message written across its front:  “Sing Loud.  It’s a big world.”   That phrase reminds me that only I can know my “song”, and only I can sing it.

What is your song?  What vision and gifts do you have to share with the world?  What is possible when you flourish?

If you are caught up in the midst of “March Madness”, I invite you to take a break from basketball and tune in to the game that I’m watching.  Below is a video of David reading his poem, “White Flour”.  If you love it as much as I do, I hope you’ll consider supporting the book launch and will share your excitement with others.  I’m grateful to David for allowing others to participate in his vision.  May we all be inspired to “Sing Loud!”

Ownership

It’s December and at our house that means that we’re celebrating the Advent and Christmas season.  Our daughters, Kristin and Kyra, have been very persistent about urging us to get all of our decorations up.  Every evening since Thanksgiving, they asked us when we could get started.  Finally, the lights are up, our tree is decorated, and we’ve brought out the candles, towels, and tablecloths that bear those familiar hues of red and green. 

If you looked at the usual state of my daughters’ bedroom, you might be surprised that they have been paying such attention to creating this “holiday feeling”.  They aren’t normally so tuned in to their surroundings!  These rituals and the feelings that they produce obviously mean something special to them.

All of this “homemaking” led me to ponder about different kinds of homeowners and what drives them to invest their energies in their physical environments.  For simplicity’s sake, I’ve categorized them into three basic types.  Do you recognize yourself or anyone else in any of these descriptions?

“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!” – This kind of homeowner has a functional view of their home, and is happy as long as everything is working.  This person doesn’t ask a lot, and doesn’t invest a lot.  If something is in need of repair, however, they can be counted on to get things fixed so that everything is back on track.

“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” – This homeowner is skilled at risk management and wants to protect his investment.  This person probably makes sure that the gutters stay cleaned out, replaces worn shingles, and powerwashes and seals the deck from time to time. 

“My home is my castle” – This homeowner wants their home to be a welcoming, relaxing space that reflects their values and style.  This person might invest energy and resources in remodeling or decorating their space so that it fulfills their vision of what they want their home to be.

Chances are, you might find yourself in all of these categories at different times.  What about if you transferred these descriptions to the issue of your health and well-being?  If you consider your “self” as your home, what kind of “homeowner” would you say you are?

Do you invest in your health mainly when something is “wrong”?   Do you intentionally avoid risky behaviors, get recommended check-ups and screenings, and try to prevent illnesses from occurring?   Do you develop healthy practices that support your vision of optimal well-being, helping you to flourish and giving you the energy to contribute your unique gifts to the world?

When it comes to investing in your Self, your health, and your well-being – what kind of owner are you?

Living Treasures

Today was Science Spectacular Day at my daughters’ elementary school and I had the privilege of volunteering at one of the presentations.  Two scientists from NC State University did a great job involving third graders in explorations about the properties of soil.  As the students at my table sifted through a sample of the dark, rich-looking material, they exclaimed over their findings:  rocks, twigs, leaves, roots, pine needles.  I couldn’t help but notice, though, that their biggest excitement was reserved for the living treasures that they encountered – worms, ants, beetles, and “roly-polys”.

As I watched their enthusiasm, I was taken back to memories of the school garden project that I created while I was a volunteer service worker in a semi-arid region of Brazil.  Although I had dabbled in gardening for years, I didn’t really realize how much I loved it until I shared that joy with the middle and high school students who were a part of the project. It was hard work, but the harshness of the landscape, and the challenges we faced seemed to make the beauty of the garden all the more vivid and precious.

Of all the things that I enjoy about gardening, there is one thing that I love most  – the sight of a new green shoot bursting its head above the earth.  After all the work of preparing the soil, planting, watering, and weeding, I reach the point where I have done all that I can do.  Now, all I can do is watch as the sun warms the earth, waiting and hoping that life will emerge.   When and if it does, it still seems miraculous to me!  The hope and potential expressed in this small being always lift my spirits.

“I think that I shall never see A poem lovely as a tree," wrote Joyce Kilmer.  Nature has long been a source of inspiration for poets, visual artists, and musicians.  What is it about experiences with nature that speak to us so profoundly?  For me, encounters with nature bring a sense of wonder and gratitude.   There is something more, though.  Observing nature reminds me that each creature has a part to play in the grand symphony of life.  When I see a bird being a bird, I am moved by how it expresses its’ unique essence.   Without it, the richness of the world would undoubtedly be diminished.   Experiences with nature cause me to appreciate our uniqueness and our interconnectedness. 

Like the sprout or the bird, I think that we also are part of the symphony of life.  We each have a unique essence that is ours to contribute, and when we don’t, the world misses something.   When we discover our essence and express it fully, we have an experience of vitality and fulfillment.  When we are our most authentic selves, we are able to use our talents and our gifts to make a difference.  Each of us is a living treasure, unique and irreplaceable.

How will we choose to spend the treasure of our lives?