Elbow Room

If you or your kids have grown up in the U.S.A. in the last thirty years or so, you may remember a Saturday morning educational program called Schoolhouse Rock.  This series of animated musical films covered subjects such as math, English grammar, science, and history.  One of the episodes that I remember was called “Elbow Room”, and it was all about westward expansion in the U.S.  The main idea of the song was about how our need for more space drove us to explore new areas and push our national boundaries farther.  It is an idea that is very familiar in our culture:  We crave spaciousness.

What is it about spaciousness that is so appealing to us?  It seems that there is something about the expansiveness of “wide open spaces” that invites creativity and possibility.  Conversely, when we feel cramped or crowded, we may feel inhibited and limited.  The desire for more spaciousness can show up in the kinds of workspaces we seek, the neighborhoods we choose, or the homes and vehicles we buy. 

Another value common to our culture is the desire for freedom.  We long to make our own choices and are excited about having options!  I would venture to say that a sense of spaciousness is closely linked to our sense of freedom.

There are times when values of freedom and spaciousness may be in conflict – especially when we do not develop healthy self-care practices.  Having more freedom means that we have to make more choices, and sometimes we get tired of choosing.  Choosing takes effort, and when we have too many choices, we can feel overwhelmed. 

In his research on self-control and willpower, Roy Baumeister describes the “ego depletion” that occurs with every decision we make.  Self-control is a finite resource and when we have too many choices to make, we have a hard time maintaining our willpower.

What happens when we are too tired or overwhelmed to choose?  We delay decisions.  “I’ll get to that later”, we think, or maybe we deliberately decide that we want to keep our options open – hang on to that email, piece of paper, clothing, furniture, etc.  Soon, our delayed decisions are encroaching on our space – physically, mentally, and emotionally.

When we feel cramped, we may be tempted to just seek more “Elbow Room.”  Sooner or later, though, expansion becomes unsustainable.  Then what? To maintain our sense of spaciousness, we must increase our clarity about what is most important to us, and create rules about what we will keep and what we will let go.  Then, we must cultivate our ability to “let go”. 

The idea of increasing our clarity and learning to let go may sound simple – but it is not necessarily easy.  Nonetheless, if we want “elbow room” in our lives, these are practices that are worth nurturing.

This month on “The Nudge”, we’ll be exploring the domain of Physical Environment with a discussion about “Clearing the Clutter.”  I hope you’ll join me and guest expert, Elisabeth Galperin at noon on May 23 as we discuss this important part of self-care!

"Elbow Room" From Schoolhouse Rock

Pruning

Last week, as the weather became unseasonably warm, I found myself in a conversation with some plant-loving friends.  Was it too late to prune?  When was the best time?  The answer, by a knowledgeable master gardener, was not simple – in short, “it depends.” 

As my friend shared some of his knowledge about appropriate pruning of different plant species, I was reminded about my experiences watching people pruning trees in northeastern Brazil.

One particular pruning incident comes to mind.  There was a gorgeous flamboyant tree in the courtyard of the school that hosted our garden project.  I was particularly fond of it because it was large and shady, and such trees aren’t easily found in that dry, rugged part of the world.  One day, a caretaker at the school decided to prune the tree.  He pruned it so drastically, though, that even the principal was alarmed and asked him to stop before he finished the job.  Already though, so many limbs were on the ground that the tree was a shadow of its former self. I smile to remember how shocked and dismayed I was as I observed what appeared to be ruthless butchering of that precious tree.  Surely, it wouldn’t survive!

Despite my sadness and worry, though, everything turned out well in the end. In the process of witnessing that tree’s miraculous recovery, I learned a thing or two about the tenacity of life in the face of challenges.

It seems to me that regardless of when we prune, or how we prune, the objective is the same.  In gardening, the purpose of pruning is to help a plant flourish.  In our lives, pruning can help us flourish too!  Whether we are clearing away clutter from our physical environment, or from our mental or emotional environment, pruning leaves space for growth and creativity.

In my own life, I will confess that my natural attraction to possibility often creates a values conflict for me in my physical environment.  To sum it up, I keep too much “stuff”!  Should I honor my commitments to frugality and resourcefulness or my commitments to sharing and simplicity?

Recently, I invented an acronym to help keep me on track in my efforts to simplify.  I call it PrUNe!

Pr =Precious.  Is this item precious to me?

U= Useful.  Am I likely to use it again?

Ne=Needed.  Do I need this more than someone else might?

If I answer “yes” to any of these question, I can keep the item.  If not, I recycle it or find it a new home.

I still have a lot of simplifying to do, and I know it will be an ongoing process.  I am confident though, that faithful pruning will leave room for flourishing.

What about you?  Are you doing any pruning in your life?