Elbow Room

If you or your kids have grown up in the U.S.A. in the last thirty years or so, you may remember a Saturday morning educational program called Schoolhouse Rock.  This series of animated musical films covered subjects such as math, English grammar, science, and history.  One of the episodes that I remember was called “Elbow Room”, and it was all about westward expansion in the U.S.  The main idea of the song was about how our need for more space drove us to explore new areas and push our national boundaries farther.  It is an idea that is very familiar in our culture:  We crave spaciousness.

What is it about spaciousness that is so appealing to us?  It seems that there is something about the expansiveness of “wide open spaces” that invites creativity and possibility.  Conversely, when we feel cramped or crowded, we may feel inhibited and limited.  The desire for more spaciousness can show up in the kinds of workspaces we seek, the neighborhoods we choose, or the homes and vehicles we buy. 

Another value common to our culture is the desire for freedom.  We long to make our own choices and are excited about having options!  I would venture to say that a sense of spaciousness is closely linked to our sense of freedom.

There are times when values of freedom and spaciousness may be in conflict – especially when we do not develop healthy self-care practices.  Having more freedom means that we have to make more choices, and sometimes we get tired of choosing.  Choosing takes effort, and when we have too many choices, we can feel overwhelmed. 

In his research on self-control and willpower, Roy Baumeister describes the “ego depletion” that occurs with every decision we make.  Self-control is a finite resource and when we have too many choices to make, we have a hard time maintaining our willpower.

What happens when we are too tired or overwhelmed to choose?  We delay decisions.  “I’ll get to that later”, we think, or maybe we deliberately decide that we want to keep our options open – hang on to that email, piece of paper, clothing, furniture, etc.  Soon, our delayed decisions are encroaching on our space – physically, mentally, and emotionally.

When we feel cramped, we may be tempted to just seek more “Elbow Room.”  Sooner or later, though, expansion becomes unsustainable.  Then what? To maintain our sense of spaciousness, we must increase our clarity about what is most important to us, and create rules about what we will keep and what we will let go.  Then, we must cultivate our ability to “let go”. 

The idea of increasing our clarity and learning to let go may sound simple – but it is not necessarily easy.  Nonetheless, if we want “elbow room” in our lives, these are practices that are worth nurturing.

This month on “The Nudge”, we’ll be exploring the domain of Physical Environment with a discussion about “Clearing the Clutter.”  I hope you’ll join me and guest expert, Elisabeth Galperin at noon on May 23 as we discuss this important part of self-care!

"Elbow Room" From Schoolhouse Rock

Spring into a New Beginning

It won’t be long now before the coming of spring – that hopeful time of year when new beginnings are all around us. It is a time of energy and growth for many of us, and it brings a welcome change of pace from the more reflective mood of the winter months.

Before you “spring into spring” though, I encourage you to take some time to be thoughtful about where you will put your energy. It’s no secret that our culture here in the U.S. promotes us to be overly busy. There is always more “to do"! Optimal self-care invites us to take strategic actions that are aligned with our vision and values. When we are clear about what we want to create in our lives, and what is most important to us, it becomes easier for us to know what actions are appropriate.

Do you have a clear vision of what you would like to create for your health and well-being? What would optimal health look like for you? Notice that I said “optimal health” – not perfect health. What you consider “optimal” will be quite personal. This isn’t about perfectionism – it’s about increasing your level of well-being, wherever you are, and making progress towards a level of health that would support you in doing and being all that you feel called to do and be. What would your best life look like?

If you’ve never stopped to ask yourself these questions, you might feel overwhelmed and unsure of where to start. Here are a few suggestions to get you going:

Fill in the blank:

Imagine yourself living a life of optimal health and well-being. If it helps, close your eyes and create a picture for yourself. Then, ask yourself the following questions:

1.  What would optimal health feel like for me?

2.  What would I be doing if I were optimally healthy?

3.  What would be different?


Once you've got your ideas down on paper, you can even turn them into a picture by making a word cloud.  Just cut and paste your words into an application like Wordle or Tagxedo.

 

Sample Word Cloud
based on my business mission and logo
Tagxedo.com

Draw a picture:

Imagine yourself with a level of well-being that would delight you. Then, get a blank piece of paper and the writing tools of your choice (crayons and colorful markers make it extra fun!). Start to draw a picture with words and/or images that capture the vision you created. There are no right answers. Just allow yourself to play and see what you notice!

For more information about the powerful effect that drawing can have, I recommend Patti Dobrowlowski's TED talk, "Drawing Your Future", available on my resources page.

Make a vision board:

Get a stack of old magazines and start leafing through them. If you notice a picture or a phrase that appeals to you, tear it out. You don’t need to know why it appeals to you. Just start tearing or cutting things out until you have accumulated a stack. Next, get a piece of blank poster-board and start laying the images or words out on them in a way that pleases you. Notice how you are feeling and which selections “resonate” with you most. Once you have everything laid out, glue it down.

Alternatives:

• Don’t want to commit? Pin your selections to a corkboard or secure them with magnets so you can move them around at will.
• Want to go digital? Consider doing a vision board on Pinterest.  (if you're new to Pinterest, you can get my tutorial here)
• Want some support? Have a vision-boarding party and let your friends in on the fun!

Creating a personal health vision is a great way to get to know yourself better and to get in touch with your hopes and dreams. In my coaching work, this is the place where every journey towards positive change begins!

There are lots of other ways to increase your self-knowledge. This month on The Nudge, our guest, Lisa Wickham will be leading us in an exploration of the topic “Inviting Wellness through Mind-Body Connection”. I hope you’ll consider joining us for this chance to hear from Lisa and interact with us.

When you think about your own well-being, what is your “dream destination”? Knowing that, where will you put your energy? I’d love to hear what inspires you!

Put on Your Life Ring!

As many of us are discovering, a large part of our health and well-being depends on our self-care -- the health choices that we make every day.  Self-care encompasses a wide range of choices – from where we choose to put our attention and our energy, to our eating habits, or perhaps how we relate to others, manage risks, and use health care resources.  The good news is that over 50% of chronic disease can be prevented based on the choices we make.  The bad news is that we may feel overwhelmed and unprepared to take on the responsibility of managing our self-care effectively.

As a nurse practitioner and a health coach, it is my joy and passion to assist people in taking on their self-care in a proactive and powerful way.   Becoming an expert in your own self-care is a journey that involves increasing knowledge, deepening self-awareness, building skills, and taking action.  It’s a lot of work – exhilarating work – but work nonetheless!  To support those who are embarking on this journey, I’m beginning a series of blog posts that will offer resources on various aspects of self-care.  These posts are based on my program, Supporting Optimal Self-Care (SOS) for Life, and I hope that you will find them helpful.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed – like you were drowning and having trouble keeping your head above water with all the demands of life?  You are not alone!  In our busy culture, it seems that this feeling is becoming more common.  We are constantly being exposed to new information and new expectations, and it can feel hard to “keep up.”  Unfortunately, when we are faced with challenges, most of us are inclined to work harder and faster, which often only adds to our stress and overwhelm.

The metaphor of “drowning” suggests a powerful solution.  When we’re “in over our heads”, we need a Life Ring  (or life preserver) to keep us afloat.  Without this additional support, we risk having a bad outcome.  When we feel overwhelmed, what is the Life Ring that helps you keep your head above water? 

For me, the Duke Wheel of Health is a great visual tool to accompany the idea of a “Life Ring”.  This model depicts a comprehensive view of different aspects of self-care and professional care that relate to our health and well-being.  I invite you to consider using it as a way to support your health journey! 

Too often, when we are overwhelmed, our self-care goes out the window.  We may stop exercising, fail to get enough rest, eat poorly, ignore our body signals  -- you get the picture.  My experience is that, in order to address stress effectively, we need to increase our level of self-care to help us through the challenges!  The Wheel of Health reminds us that well-being begins with paying attention to what we need and taking appropriate actions in different areas of self-care and professional care to get our needs met.

As you consider the Wheel of Health, I invite you to think about what self-care strategies are most helpful for you when life gets challenging.  Then, the next time you feel yourself “drowning”, remember to put on your Life Ring!

Your well-being begins with YOU!

Seven Guidelines for Mindful Eating

How do you nourish yourself?

These days we’re hearing a lot about the power of mindfulness, and its amazing capacity to help us increase awareness, decrease stress and make wiser choices.  Although programs like Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), originated by Jon Kabat-Zinn at the University of Massachusetts, continue to provide opportunities for individuals to explore pathways to mindfulness, the concept may still seem a bit nebulous to the general public -- particularly folks who aren’t used to the idea of a meditative practice.

Mindfulness and  "The Wheel of Health"

The good news is that mindfulness is something that we’ve all experienced, and it can be cultivated simply.  It is nothing more than “paying attention on purpose”, and it can be developed through formal or informal practice.  Like any habit, mindfulness becomes easier the more we do it.  As a coach, I find mindfulness to be a powerful tool in facilitating behavior change, and it is at the very core of the model that guides my practice.

Mindfulness is a particularly important habit to cultivate with respect to nutrition.  We’ve all heard about the trends – U.S. citizens are becoming increasingly obese, and our nutrition choices are a major reason why.  According to a 2006 study by the Pew Research Center, more than half of U.S. adults estimate that they overeat “junk” food at least some of the time.  Increasing our mindfulness about how we nourish ourselves, is an important first step towards making healthier choices.

Dr. Lilian Cheung, a nutritionist and health promotion researcher at Harvard School of Public Health, identifies seven behaviors that are key to mindful eating. 

1)  Honor the food – In remembering where our food comes from, we enhance our sense of connection to our food and our appreciation of its role in supporting our well-being.
2)  Engage all your senses – Sensory awareness is a mindfulness strategy that, when applied to eating,  allows us to fully experience our nutrition choices.  In addition to helping us slow down, this practice also allows us to notice what thoughts or feelings come up to interrupt our full participation.
3)  Be mindful of portion sizes – When we cultivate the habit of taking smaller portions, we reduce the likelihood of overeating.  Cheung recommends using a plate no larger than 9 inches.  A number of research studies confirm the link between large portions and overeating.
4)  Chew your food – Many of us have trained ourselves to eat quickly, but this habit does not promote healthy nutrition.  Chewing food completely allows us to fully experience our food and to digest it more completely.  It also helps us to eat more slowly.
5)  Eat slowly – Our sensation of being satisfied after eating (satiety), is driven by stretch receptors in our digestive system.  It takes approximately 20 minutes for these receptors to provide feedback to our brains that we are full.  If we eat too quickly, we are more likely to overeat because we don’t sense that we’ve had enough until we’ve already eaten too much.  Studies confirm that eating slowly reduces our food intake!
6)  Do not skip meals – Skipping meals during the day can negatively impact your nutrition plan for a couple of reasons.   Skipping meals alters your metabolism and may increase your risk for diabetes. Also, when you skip meals, you are less likely to make thoughtful food choices the next time you eat.
7)  Eat a plant-based diet – Plants are rich in fiber and phytonutrients, both essential to a healthy metabolism.  In addition, all the fiber that comes with eating plants increases our sense of fullness.  While one can find a wide variety of nutrition advice, all eating plans seem to agree on the value of eating more vegetables.  For an interesting summary about the research on plant-based diets, I recommend viewing the documentary Forks Over Knives.

In this three-minute video, Dr. Cheung shares her perspective about these habits.  It’s well worth your time!



What about you?  Which of these strategies have you tried and what have you discovered?  I’d love to hear what you think!

Flourishing

It is early January and after a busy holiday season, a winter stillness is in the air.   I just brought in a box of fresh produce, kindly delivered by a business that supports local farmers, and I am feeling grateful for anything fresh that can be grown in these shorter, colder days.  If you ride around the North Carolina countryside this time of year, many fields are lying fallow – resting and waiting for spring.

Just two years ago, my family was in a very different situation.  Living near the equator in northeastern Brazil, the days were always warm and long enough to grow an abundance of produce, as long as enough water was available.  In fact, farmers there had to be careful not to wear out their soil.  They constantly had to add rich compost back to their gardens so that they could continue to produce, day-in and day-out.

Our family was in Brazil as volunteer service workers with Mennonite Central Committee, and while there, I had the privilege of helping a school develop a garden project.  The students and I learned a lot about how to care for soil in that project, and the lessons from that experience continue to enrich my life.

I remember that when we started the project, the site for the garden was a bare, clay plot in the school courtyard, nearly devoid of life, and baked as hard as brick under that harsh sun.  The students worked diligently, and it took us nearly a month with picks and shovels just to loosen up the soil!

Once the soil was loosened, we added organic material, and some sand to help keep it that way.  We formed garden rows, and finally started to plant.

Once we planted, the work never stopped.  We had to keep the weeds out, watch out for pests, and make sure the seedlings got enough water.  Every now and then, we applied a “tea” of organic nutrients to continue to feed those little plants so they could have strong defenses.  We had to pay attention to spacing so that the plants didn’t get too crowded and therefore become weaker.

We didn’t just focus on the plants themselves, we had to pay attention to the whole environment.  The flowers that sprouted up attracted bees that pollinated our tomatoes, and birds that ate any pests.  We even learned about plants that could serve as natural pest deterrents!

In the end, we were rewarded with a flourishing garden that provided fresh organic produce for the school and the local market, but more importantly lessons in teamwork, leadership, healthy living, and the interconnectedness of all things.

Growing a life that flourishes is similar to growing a successful garden.  First of all, you have to pay attention to the foundation.  Just as a plant needs rich and receptive soil in which to thrive, our lives need good self-care practices that nourish and sustain us.  Initiating and maintaining these practices requires commitment and dedication.

How are you nourishing the soil of your life?  In this new year, I pray that you are preparing it for the possibility of an abundant harvest!

Ownership

It’s December and at our house that means that we’re celebrating the Advent and Christmas season.  Our daughters, Kristin and Kyra, have been very persistent about urging us to get all of our decorations up.  Every evening since Thanksgiving, they asked us when we could get started.  Finally, the lights are up, our tree is decorated, and we’ve brought out the candles, towels, and tablecloths that bear those familiar hues of red and green. 

If you looked at the usual state of my daughters’ bedroom, you might be surprised that they have been paying such attention to creating this “holiday feeling”.  They aren’t normally so tuned in to their surroundings!  These rituals and the feelings that they produce obviously mean something special to them.

All of this “homemaking” led me to ponder about different kinds of homeowners and what drives them to invest their energies in their physical environments.  For simplicity’s sake, I’ve categorized them into three basic types.  Do you recognize yourself or anyone else in any of these descriptions?

“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!” – This kind of homeowner has a functional view of their home, and is happy as long as everything is working.  This person doesn’t ask a lot, and doesn’t invest a lot.  If something is in need of repair, however, they can be counted on to get things fixed so that everything is back on track.

“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” – This homeowner is skilled at risk management and wants to protect his investment.  This person probably makes sure that the gutters stay cleaned out, replaces worn shingles, and powerwashes and seals the deck from time to time. 

“My home is my castle” – This homeowner wants their home to be a welcoming, relaxing space that reflects their values and style.  This person might invest energy and resources in remodeling or decorating their space so that it fulfills their vision of what they want their home to be.

Chances are, you might find yourself in all of these categories at different times.  What about if you transferred these descriptions to the issue of your health and well-being?  If you consider your “self” as your home, what kind of “homeowner” would you say you are?

Do you invest in your health mainly when something is “wrong”?   Do you intentionally avoid risky behaviors, get recommended check-ups and screenings, and try to prevent illnesses from occurring?   Do you develop healthy practices that support your vision of optimal well-being, helping you to flourish and giving you the energy to contribute your unique gifts to the world?

When it comes to investing in your Self, your health, and your well-being – what kind of owner are you?

Sandcastles

This weekend, our family enjoyed a visit to the beach with my parents.   It was a short trip, but the weather was glorious, and we packed some of our favorite beach activities into the time that we had together.

We spent a good bit of the day on Saturday engaged in a big sandcastle project.  My younger daughter, Kyra, got us started, and before long we were all engaged in some aspect of its construction.   As we worked, it was evident that we were all cognizant that, sooner or later, the tide would rise and our work would be undone.  Nonetheless, we undertook the project with great gusto.  As we worked, I couldn’t help but notice where each of us chose to apply our energies.

I observed as Kyra quickly focused on building the inner castle and surrounding it with a moat that would keep the water away.  Later, she carved channels that would divert any water that entered back out again without damaging the castle.  John built a solid wall in front of the inner moat – a barrier against the rising tide.  I dug a lake in front of the wall.  It would have to fill up before the water could reach the wall, and thus would delay the arrival of the waves.  Behind the main castle and moat, my older daughter, Kristin, built a small island, also surrounded by a moat.  After decorating it with multicolored shells and smooth stones that she had been collecting on the beach, she dubbed it “Sea Treasure Island”.  My parents took the sand that was displaced from the lake that I dug, and made fun sculptures to surround our creation – a sea turtle, a whelk, a starfish, and an alligator (complete with a new poem from Mom inscribed in the sand beside him.)

The slow, pleasant work and the steady sounds of wind and waves provided a perfect opportunity for my mind to wander.   I considered the creative and transitory nature of our project.  It is interesting, I think, that despite the impermanence of sandcastles, so many of us enjoy building them.  Why is that?  Why do we invest so much time and energy into creations that the tide will soon wash away?  

Sandcastles seem to be interesting metaphors for the way we relate to our lives and our health.  As surely as the tides rise and fall, we know that we won’t last forever, but most of us cling to life for as long as we can.  Yet long lives aren’t our only goal. More than that, we hope to live “well” – with enough vision and energy to make contributions that will fulfill and outlast us. Even though we know that we will all “suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune”, we work to extend our wellness -- protecting ourselves from risk and increasing our strength and resilience.  We try to build lives that are authentic and vital, remembering to include those things that bring us joy, fun, beauty, and meaning.

As you care for yourself, where do you put your energies?  Do you try to minimize risks – putting distance between yourself and the likelihood of unwanted outcomes?  Do you work on increasing your strength and resilience – increasing your chances of withstanding illness when it occurs?  Do you invest in your deepest values – your spirituality, your relationships, your vocation, or your creativity?  Hopefully, you have found that all of these activities have a place in your well-lived life.

We left our sandcastle on the beach yesterday before high tide arrived and did not expect to see it again.  Early this morning, John and I took a walk at sunrise and were amazed to see it still standing.  Although the tide had risen past our creation, the features that we included had successfully diverted the water around it.  For the moment, we had cheated the sea and our castle had been spared.  The alligator continued to grin and the decorations on Sea Treasure Island still sparkled at passersby.  We smiled and walked on.