If you or your kids have grown up in the U.S.A. in the last thirty years or so, you may remember a Saturday morning educational program called Schoolhouse Rock. This series of animated musical films covered subjects such as math, English grammar, science, and history. One of the episodes that I remember was called “Elbow Room”, and it was all about westward expansion in the U.S. The main idea of the song was about how our need for more space drove us to explore new areas and push our national boundaries farther. It is an idea that is very familiar in our culture: We crave spaciousness.
What is it about spaciousness that is so appealing to us? It seems that there is something about the expansiveness of “wide open spaces” that invites creativity and possibility. Conversely, when we feel cramped or crowded, we may feel inhibited and limited. The desire for more spaciousness can show up in the kinds of workspaces we seek, the neighborhoods we choose, or the homes and vehicles we buy.
Another value common to our culture is the desire for freedom. We long to make our own choices and are excited about having options! I would venture to say that a sense of spaciousness is closely linked to our sense of freedom.
There are times when values of freedom and spaciousness may be in conflict – especially when we do not develop healthy self-care practices. Having more freedom means that we have to make more choices, and sometimes we get tired of choosing. Choosing takes effort, and when we have too many choices, we can feel overwhelmed.
In his research on self-control and willpower, Roy Baumeister describes the “ego depletion” that occurs with every decision we make. Self-control is a finite resource and when we have too many choices to make, we have a hard time maintaining our willpower.
What happens when we are too tired or overwhelmed to choose? We delay decisions. “I’ll get to that later”, we think, or maybe we deliberately decide that we want to keep our options open – hang on to that email, piece of paper, clothing, furniture, etc. Soon, our delayed decisions are encroaching on our space – physically, mentally, and emotionally.
When we feel cramped, we may be tempted to just seek more “Elbow Room.” Sooner or later, though, expansion becomes unsustainable. Then what? To maintain our sense of spaciousness, we must increase our clarity about what is most important to us, and create rules about what we will keep and what we will let go. Then, we must cultivate our ability to “let go”.
The idea of increasing our clarity and learning to let go may sound simple – but it is not necessarily easy. Nonetheless, if we want “elbow room” in our lives, these are practices that are worth nurturing.
This month on “The Nudge”, we’ll be exploring the domain of Physical Environment with a discussion about “Clearing the Clutter.” I hope you’ll join me and guest expert, Elisabeth Galperin at noon on May 23 as we discuss this important part of self-care!
I was in a meeting the other day with a group of other women business owners when one of them admitted to me: "Julie, I STILL don't know what it is that you DO!" After ten months of meeting together, perhaps I should have felt embarrassed... Instead, I appreciated her honesty, and felt grateful for the opportunity to provide clarity. It left me thinking, though -- Perhaps you wonder the same thing! What is coaching anyway? More importantly, why would anyone want to be coached? Most of us are familiar with coaches of one kind or another. Our first thought may be of an athletic coach -- someone who can help a player achieve their optimum performance by helping them play to their strengths and overcome their weaknesses. We imagine an athletic coach as tough and opinionated. This coach has lots of experience and advice about what works, and expects you to follow it. Their style of coaching is what some call a "directive" style, or some might use the word "mentoring". These coaches are experts in a given area and you go to them because you want their expertise and advice. The coaching that I practice is different from mentoring in some important ways. The goal is certainly similar - I am committed to helping clients achieve optimal health and part of that involves learning how to play to their strengths and overcome obstacles. I am an expert in facilitating the process of transformation -- but my process does not involve "telling you what to do". Folks work with me because they are ready to be the "captain of their own ship" -- but they want support until they get their "sea legs". YOU are the expert in your own life. You know your dreams and your values better than I ever could. My job is to help you become crystal clear about where you want to go, chart your course, and then help you align your actions with that vision in a sustainable way.
The process that I guide my clients through is like the proverbial "three-legged stool". In order to support optimal well-being, we go through three important phases together -- each one essential to long-term success:
Inspiration -- Clients become clear and energized about their vision and values.
Action -- Clients take meaningful actions and deepen their learning
Sustainability -- Clients create a context that will support successful self-care
Just like that stool, the balance doesn't work without all three legs. Inspiration without action doesn't produce results. Action without inspiration lacks focus and energy. Action without a supportive context is hard to sustain. You get the picture. So, enough about me. What does this mean to you -- or someone you love? First of all, let me clear that no one "needs" coaching. Health coaching is an opportunity to take your well-being to a new level. I work with folks at all different levels of health. Maybe they have a chronic illness. Perhaps they've had a health "wake-up" call. Some are already very healthy, but are inspired to see what else is possible. What all these folks share is a commitment to invest in their well-being, so that they can fulfill their purpose with greater joy and vitality. Health coaching isn't for everyone. It involves work and commitment. Frankly, some folks are just fine with being "fine". And there's nothing wrong with that! But, maybe you're being nudged to search for something more. Perhaps you're intrigued with the notion of being the "captain of your own ship" -- being proactive about seeking greater well-being instead of just "going with the flow". If so, maybe health coaching would be a great tool for you. If you want to learn more, you can always email me!
Thanks for your curiosity about what I do. I'm grateful for this work that I love! I'd love to hear what it is that YOU love to do!
